Those who have known me for any length of time know that I’m not the most upbeat person around. Some would say I’m prone to looking for the worst to happen. I call myself an optimistic pessimist…I’m positive things are going to go wrong. I go through my days expecting things to go pear-shaped. I used to walk into work every day expecting to be fired. (That wasn’t too far off the mark. I was let go on August 5th.) I’m not the kind to walk around with a smile or even a pleasant expression on my face. More than one person has asked if I’m ever happy.
About a month ago, I started thinking about that. Am I ever happy?
It didn’t take long to find the answer to that question. Yes, there are times when I’m happy. Those times are when I’m writing.
I posted the above picture on Facebook a couple of weeks ago with the caption, “The only time I’m truly happy is when I’m writing.” (Yes, that is my hand, my pen and my vampire novel, Under the Dark of the Moon.) Even when the words aren’t flowing as easily as I would like, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. It’s the act of creation, of translating those scenes running through my mind into a form that others can experience that brings a smile to my face.
Writing is also the only part of my life that I’m ever positive about. Before the first story was published in 2005, it was always when I got published, not if I got published. I always knew it would happen one day. I have a similar outlook toward my self-publishing efforts. My sales haven’t been very good, mostly because I’m still trying to figure out internet marketing. I’m confident that eventually the books will sell.
Now, if I can find a way to spread that positive outlook to the rest of my life. I’m going to need some optimism while I’m job hunting.
Writing is life…everything else is research.